HOW TO ASK BETTER QUESTIONS

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your thoughts. Your self talk matters and I want you to question every thought you have. This is a very fast way to see what's working and what is not supporting your best. 

Your brain is constantly searching for evidence that you are who you say you are, especially if you believe that life is unfair, that you are broken, or that you can never change. And guess what? It will always find proof to back up what you believe about you. 

Your brain is incredibly good at answering the questions you give it.

This past week reminded me of that.

In check ins, those listening to the self-talk audio in my app and learning how to rewrite their thoughts to work for them ask, "What if this all works out for my good? What if it works out better than I can imagine?"

Versus... 

• “Why did this happen?”

• “Why me?”

• “What if I had done something differently?”

Those questions would keep me trapped in a loop of fear and guilt without changing a single thing. This is the power of a single thought and the POWER of rewriting your self talk to work for you. Now let's work on flipping the script and replacing the thoughts you ask yourself.

Start asking yourself these two questions that have completely changed how I experience life:

• What is this making possible?

• What can I learn?

Those questions don’t minimize pain.

They don’t magically make everything okay.

They simply move my focus from what I can’t control to what I can.

It reminds me that healing doesn’t come from pretending everything is fine—it comes from facing hard things and thinking fast to move through them quickly. Like getting back on track faster than ever before. This is what I coach my 1:1 clients on. I coach my 1:1 clients on how to reroute and get back on track with who they want to be as fast as possible to make it easy to naturally become the new version of themselves. 

It also reminded me why I’m so open about my life. My thought life, my life as a mom of 3 (plus one beautiful bonus I found out about when she was 17), going through hard things and how my self-talk and faith 100% made it possible to come through without needing coping support, while maintaining my health and business thriving through extremely hard years. 

I’ve noticed that some people have questioned why I have not shared my very personal experiences with food addiction, divorce, financial freedom, the boundaries I have set, and why I keep them to teach from with my clients only. 

I really like me, I really like my self-talk. I wake up feeling great daily. I do things that totally make people cringe (hello positive self talk), and I have heard the opinions and complaints from others as I build the life I want. I am sharing this with you here because I want you help you understand that the opinions of others are NO reason to stay the same and encourage you that you are not alone. 

I’ve made peace with the fact that not everyone has to understand me and so thankful that even though I turn 46 this summer I am so thankful that I won't hold myself back for the next 45:)

It PAINS ME to get calls from women that are in their 60s and 70s that have never liked themselves and stayed that way to keep others comfortable. 

Years ago, I cared far too much about what people thought.

• I filtered myself.

• I worried about being judged.

• I tried to protect my image.

Today, I protect my purpose.

I’ve watched my vulnerability and consistency help people get sober and break free from food addiction. 

I’ve watched people leave abusive relationships.

I've watched people drop negativity, learn positive self-talk and in turn radically impact their mental health and transform their bodies.  

I’ve watched parents have conversations with their kids that they never would’ve had if I hadn't taught them first how to study self talk and how to talk to yourself for building a healthy self esteem. 

How could I stop now?

If being transparent in my community and showing up for you helps one family build up a generation of kids that can think positively and be lights to the people around them … then every uncomfortable, or cringe moment of self talk and sharing my journey is worth it.

That’s one of the greatest gifts staying consistent and practicing what I teach has given me. 

Not confidence because people approve of me…

Freedom because I no longer need them to.

This is what I have in the private app- self talk coaching sessions, self talk audio to listen to on repeat and my Neurofit course for those of you ready to dive into the science 101 of why you know what to do to but don't know why you don't do it..... or struggle with self esteem.. Its not your fault. It's your programming from childhood and I teach you how to rewire for success. 

The good news is its not all or nothing and it is THE MISSING PIECE. Whether you meet me in the app for a workout to get the self-talk coaching or just want to keep the self talk audio on heavy replay, it takes next to zero effort and I want to show you that you CAN and its just repetition. 

Take out a notebook and think about the challenge you’re facing right now.

Then answer these three questions without overthinking them:

 What am I doing consistently? What are my daily habits?

 What can I learn from this?

 Am I spending more energy worrying about what people think than becoming the person I want to be?

Be uncomfortably honest with this. This work gets you more progress in 21 days then you can experience in a lifetime of struggling with yourself. 

Awareness is where transformation begins.

 I’d love to hear from you. Which of those questions hit you the hardest, and what did you discover about yourself? 

If you are in our private community page- tag me in the question that helps you most and don't hesitate to reach out and ask how I navigate to forgive myself and get back on track fast now. I have 27 years of studying self talk and helping people with this so I have heard it all and don't be afraid to ask. 

I am here for you! 

If you are not in my community or want to schedule a 1:1 j